Do you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, practicing self care?
Why do moms feel guilty about taking care of themselves? Why can preservation of self (and even self identity) be viewed as selfish? Are you a people pleaser? Are you more worried about keeping everything afloat to pay attention to yourself?
If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you need to PAUSE and reflect.
Would you ever expect a friend to put herself on the back burner while taking care of others? Would you ask your partner to not take care of him/herself? Would you ask your KIDS to not take care of themselves?
Now, I recognize the kid argument may be far-fetched if you have little ones that rely on you solely for survival and nurture. But, would you want your children (as adults) to not take care of themselves? Run themselves ragged so that “all the things” got done?
I’m pretty confident you wouldn’t tell your friend to just keep plugging along, your partner to stop taking care of him/herself, or your adult children to be more worried about others than themselves – right?
Well, then why don’t we hold ourselves to the same standards? Why do we forget about ourselves?
If taking time for yourself makes you feel guilty because your partner has to pick up the slack when you decide to take the night off from dishwashing and instead get some well-deserved rest, then you need to have a conversation with your partner. Odds are, he will recognize that you need some self care and be fine picking up the pieces. Don’t assume that your support people in your life won’t encourage (and welcome) some mama self care. Open up the conversation, explore ways you can practice self-care while still meeting the (bare minimum) requirements of the day. Get your support people to hold you accountable for your self-care, and you should encourage your support to practice self-care, too. I bet you both feel better after a couple days of carving out some time for self care.
So..this week: Throw out the guilt. Do one thing per day that falls into the self care category.
Remember: self care doesn’t have to be big..small adjustments (not reaching for the sugar at the end of the day, not staying up late going into the Netflix rabbit hole, not going outside and taking a few deep breaths of fresh air) are a fantastic place to start.